Non-stop

I was once a firm believer in never putting a person on your skin
Never making promises or testing the balance of things
Never jinxing for the lack of a better term.

Now I realize the power uncertainty holds and the great way I burst out of its arms into yours.

I grew up feeling stoppable or slowable
Despite being perceived as non-stop,
People’s affirmations never lasted in their weight.

Now I see that everything standing between me or you or them will break. I will break it. I am the strongest person on earth. I can’t lift my body weight but I’d lift a mountain of hurt off your shoulders. I’d drag a night of pain out of their nurseries.

I’d run until my body breaks and I’d urge my spirit to crawl. If gravity squashes me when you fall from great heights, I’ll be the thing between you and the ground, and you’ll get up unscathed.

Non-stop makes sense now.

I will non-stop love you
Which means stopping in some ways, like:

Stopping to ask if you can breathe
Pulling over for your iced coffee
Clearing paths for you
Clearing calendars for your self-care
Stopping spirals and steamrolls
Stopping kids from waking you up
Stopping to buy a glimmer of gold you’d like
Stopping to get lost in your old eyes
Stopping to ask you if you like me when I’m 80
Breaking to call and check-in
Putting a wedge under the door closing us into a cycle of work
And vacationing to the picture on your desktop

I used to hate how I didn’t mind losing
I felt lethargic and slow and worthless
But my stamina for you is Olympic.
I’d tattoo five rings on my shoulder
I’d tattoo a moon
Because I outran and broke uncertainty
It’s panting a mile behind
Nothing about us can be cursed or touched
It’s a law now that you are mine.

Non-stop love for you making me stop for you anytime.

Stopping to clean before you get home
Pulling you close to relax on my chest
Clearing your mind and body of tangles
Clearing the floor of piles of clothes
Stopping all obligations because there’s only you
Stopping the nurse to ask when we get to see our baby boy
Stopping when you’re lost and those eyes are tired
Stopping to tell you I’m falling in love with you when we’re 80
Breaking down walls standing in your way
Putting an email invite together for a surprise for you
And staycationing to watch cartoons

I love how I can’t lose with you
I feel energized and happy and full
The course I run with you is infinite.
I’d tattoo letters for little names
I’d tack on a sun
Because I can barely remember a time when I wasn’t certain
That we are golden
And that forever is a comforter.

Non-stop love for you making me stop for you all the time.

 

 

 

 

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