“Carbon Copy”

Carbon Copied 
Don’t want her off me
Don’t wander off
Be free
But don’t wander far from what we have, please

I’ve gotten used to being on my knees
But so has she
Eye level
I have all the respect in the world
For the most beautiful thing, I have ever seen
Utterly breathtaking
This thing we have is tangible
I’d risk so much and I am not a gambler
But I have this hunch
And it’s founded on concrete hope I
Gathered from the sheer crunch
Of a fist on my jaw, head doing a 180
Turned around after giving up and look what God gave me
Never ever will I try to fight fate, it’s outrageous
Self righteous Faust fallacy, how outdated
Learning from mistakes practice makes perfect
It’s all worth it
I’d do it all again to reach this moment
Her smile is pervading
My heart is aching
It hurts like hell but it keeps me breathing
Nothing has felt like this, my world
I won’t go back on my word
No matter the result she will always be my girl
Fixed point in time
I won’t ever ask for a rewind
Regrets will never be mine
Not a philistine
When it comes to examining
Every detail on her masterpiece
Every night under that lamp post dragging feelings
On a thread through every synapse and all the blood pumping
Every vein every sense I have in one place
The kind of shit they tell you when advocating to meditate
What we all coincidentally strive for
What if that feeling is staring me in the face
What if it has dimples and its forehead crinkles
What if it’s 5’2 and got me wrapped around its finger
What if it’s a miracle, all I want is a future
To always reach place of peace and devotion
To hold the same passion behind a podium but in a person
The same drive and ambition but for affectionate ammunition
Every weight on every shoulder dissipating under the covers
When I just get to hold her and feel secure in that she’s fine
The gift of a lifetime
My luxury unconfined
Complacency is a landmine
Scary but I can’t doubt
Keeping my own promises, watching my own mouth
Realizing I’m blessed and if I can help it I’ll let out
Everything I should say before it’s too late
Everything I can give makes me stronger doesn’t drain
Health and devotion
Constantly feeling like I’m in this freefall motion
Enthusiastically accepting the physical law
Have you ever known me to be someone to take comfort in a fall?
But this love is one that wasn’t hard at all
Not a thought held me back
Not a butcher not a wardan
Not a single hesitation played out, no forewarning
All for the best
Restoring my faith
Never will I do her justice in the words I create
I’m hammering out, puzzling if you will
Trying to give her something to explain precisely how I feel
Cliché but this is all chicken scratch
She deserves the best
She deserves the love I’m right to have
Pages on pages and pages
I’ve got ages on ages and ages
The thoughts rolling in my head
All the tight stress
Wringing my mind like a rag
She rejuvenates
Support system
Light inside the tunnel vision
I can’t let myself underappreciate
How to concoct rhymes
How do I formulate
Always internal conflict with me
Spoken freely
Definitive Autobiographer
On the loudspeaker
Cringe worthy
Bullhorn in hand, the tip pressed to her ear
She takes it too well but I gotta worry about tiring her
Those drums gotta last I can’t keep winding her
Gotta play her a beat she’d want to live a life to
Never falter in effort, I love every minute of you
Forever is a long time to ask of anybody
So many factors developmentally – god damn
I’ll give her peace of mind and space and keep the melody
On hold, playing in my brain
Just in case she’s still wanting me
How crazy is it to live your every fantasy
Nothing I gotta cook up in a dream
That’s not fashionably delivered
My babygirl has got it all configured
Blueprints to my maintenance and soul predicaments
I’m not quite sure what the subject of these rhymes is
Seems like I’m still half shading those boxes
The underlying point is
This could be page 2 out of 20
But not for a second do I expect
For a single one to be a summary
Good enough, pure enough
An explanation for this struggling
I’d need a million years and even then no promising
I love her that’s all I can really say
It’s real she’s not my better half she’s a whole part of me
Like looking in a mirror but tweaked perfected and admirable
I know it’s real because the stories are undesirable
What we have is raw
I’ve never seen it at all
Specialized coated in a layer of heart
The adjective, to have true noun
Clarity in a crystal ball that we’d be renowned
But I don’t give a flying fuck about reputation
We go high in their eyes but for me it’s allegiance
Loyalty, mutual understanding
Private life, something to be envied
I struck gold in those eyes laced with blue
I struck diamonds when I tripped over you
I had my head down I wasn’t even looking
I struck oil got all the riches I was undeserving
I’ll do right by her I live to see that smile
Even if I go down as hers just for awhile
I hereby promise
That awhile will be worthy of cinema
Retold in brilliant nostalgia
Not sentimentalized
No glittery disguise
No lies
Our eyes
Our times
Told as the sun we rode on
I’ll fight for so long
To be lucky enough to hold on
Not taking for granted the exception
She is to the lack of luck given
I’ll hold every bit of her in a bulletproof case with a ribbon
Never forgotten
Submission not a goal
I love her to death and I won’t let it go untold
I struck gold
I’m staring it in the face
I won the lottery
Let’s not get complacent
Time will tell but tale will not fade from high degree
I will be on a peak as long as she loves me
Carbon copy of me
Carbon copy of emotions
How blessed to have carbon copied this level of devotion
Carbon copy
Don’t want her off me
Don’t go too far love but run to the ends of the earth
Be so happy and I’ll go and get some binoculars
Time will tell but my tale will be no less than proud
Proud of you my 5 foot 2

Hair curling against rosey cheeks under the light of a lamp
A cracked voice saying goodbye
The one we both fear bringing tears to my eyes
Last kiss, the impossibility to loosen our hold
We both know
We both know.

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